Fastball Express Inc.

Eclipse Phase #6: How Much Is That Sotong In The Window?

How much is that sotong in the window,
The one with the waggely arms?
How much is that sotong in the window,
I do hope we save him from harm!

Qing Long, the O’Neill colony located at the Martian Greek Lagrange Point. This was the site of the Fastball Express’ latest escapades. Bishop Six and Quill were just recovering from some neural modifications when Billy Cable called them to inform them that Hokusai had gone missing. He’d been gone for three hours and had yet to return to the ship. Together with Kay, the teammates began throwing out calls to various criminal and autonomist contacts in the colony, hoping to hear something about octopoid kidnappings. After all, Hokusai had mentioned having some enemies with the Nine Lives.

The investigation hit a dead end, it seemed, until Quill miraculously managed to open doors that nobody else could. Funny how that seems to happen when she gets involved.

She used her ego hunter contacts to get in touch with a soul market trader named Diego, who seemed to be in the market for just the right kind of mollusc.

Billy came up with a horrifically convoluted cover for himself as his own father inside the body of a child prostitute, and went to the trouble to film a video of himself being beaten up and tied up by his teammates. “Obadiah Stane, you did not tell us that you wanted us to capture the famous Tony Stark -” oh wait wrong show. “Gandalf, oh where are you?!? -” oh wait wrong show.

Anyway Quill managed to pique Diego’s interest in buying Billy’s ass. Somehow. They set up a meeting at the Skyride stadium in the center section of the colony cylinder, where Diego had his office. Billy got the blueprints for the stadium from some terrorist contacts he’d met in a fanfic forum at some point, so they had an easy way in. While Kay and Bishop infiltrated via air ducts (which were NOT trapped with lasers) Quill played Mjolnir with Billy on a leash, tossing him ahead of her and following along on his momentum, all the way to the meeting with Diego.

Which Quill promptly aced by hacking Diego’s brain using leet mental powers. Once again, miraculous and quite creepy to her teammates who didn’t know how she did it. He just talked, blabbed everything about Sally Slick, majordomo of the Nine Lives organization, putting a price
out on Hokusai’s head and about to collect him, too. He even conveniently forgot about everything that had just happened, moments later. Odd, that!

Hokusai was being held at Extra Super Tanker, a floating supertanker restaurant located in the Hong Kong Harbour-like body of water located hundreds of meters below the Skyrise, on the main inner surface of the cylinder. Only 15 minutes until Sally arrived to buy Hokusai. No time to waste – the entire team exfiltrated the Skyrise by JUMPING DOWN!

Bishop rode Kay, who could fly. Quill and Billy used their smart clothes to form Combat Pterodactyl Suits. They chewed their Lizard Boom Sticks and glided down silently to the supertanker. Meanwhile, Bishop, who had gotten there first, quizzed the restaurant staff in suspicious detail about any sapient octopi they might have in stock.

Then Quill waltzed in and had a quick word with the management at the restaurant, who suddenly became very cooperative and became willing to sell Hokusai over to us. Billy found the octopus stunned or drugged in a fish tank and got him the frak out of there and over the side of the
ship just minutes before Sally was due to arrive, and the others made themselves scarce too. Sure, they’d been seen on camera, but Billy had a plan to deal with that, if he could just get a little time to plan an intimidating call to Sally.

He didn’t get that chance. After everyone swam clear of the restaurant, they regrouped back on dry land just in time to hear of the latest live AR game fad sweeping the colony: Hunt The Fastball Express Crew, 10,000 creds per head!

Obviously to be continued.

Eclipse Phase #5 - Accounting for Warbot

Kai’s Notes:
After the rather hectic theft of the Sistine Chapel ceiling at Shackleton Crater on Luna, the Fastball Express headed back to Martian Trojans space in order to deliver their cargo. Hokusai spacewalked, admired the Chapel sections strapped on the outside of the ship, and did some painting of his own. Billy learned medicine in a crash virtual course. Kay downloaded specs for new armor mods for the others. Quill made cranes in her lifeboat.

But someone sent a ship in hot pursuit.

In retrospect, Billy Cable thought, there are only two kinds of space chases, if they don’t want to outright kill you. Either they can outthrust your ship and can evade your weapons, in which case there’s a boarding action, or they can’t in which case it’s short and boring.

It was not short and boring.

The pursuing ship sent a boarding pod on the tip of a chem rocket to ram into us. We accidentally popped off a lifeboat while trying to weaponize it, and watched it get blown apart by a missile launched by our pursuers. Despite Bishop, Kay and Hokusai’s attempts to intercept the pod with the Eagle Lander, we got hit in the cargo bay and boarded by a big bad warbot.

Our team had to throw everything they had at it to stop it. Once again, Bishop got shot up badly enough to wish he had medichines installed.

We had the Fastball Express depressurized before the fight so that everyone was in pressure suits…except our resident headcase Quill, who was in her lifeboat. When the warbot seemed to be winning, Billy blew the door on the lifeboat, depressurizing it and filling the main cargo bay with paper cranes in a failed attempt to blind warbot. But after the cranes blew in, they got sucked back out of the cargo bay almost immediately. So that was a spectacular fail.

Nevertheless our team managed to throw enough firepower at warbot to bring it down. We checked it with smart dust and Kay broke it down for consumption, and there was no further pursuit. Billy stabilized the wounded Bishop. Kay regenerated from damage pretty quick. Quill probably survived too. :)

And the Fastball Express team was able to make it to their rendezvous with the Martian Church reps at the Trojans.

In the aftermath, team members had neurachem installed and Verlian made plans with Billy to leverage their newfound “rogue hypercorp” status by trying to make secret contacts with various Martian hypercorps to take on black ops jobs.

And within the shot-up interior of the Fastball Special, the paper cranes continued to float around randomly in Brownian motion…

GM’s Notes:
Quill: “If I make one million cranes, I will get a wish granted!
999,997… 999,998…”

Cable: “Million Crane Striking Prana!”



Kay : “…”

Verlian : “…”

Hokusai : “…”

Bishop : <dies>

Cable : “…”

Warbot : <dakkadakkadakkadakka>

Eclipse Phase #3 - The First Michelangelo Job

GM Notes:
“My mother bore me in the southern wild,
And I am black, but oh my soul is white!
White as an angel is the English child,
But I am black, as if bereaved of light. "

This session is just a little art heist job on the moon.

Indestructible space dogs!

Betsy Braddock seduction via MIND BLAST.

Moon marathons.

Eagle transporters!

Lots more wrongness.

Adrian, I think you should change your PC’s Background to Uplift or Infolife at the rate you’re going…

Kai’s Notes:
Kay cratered, but didn’t die. Good Lordy.

Billy Cable nearly almost got used as a roll-on sex drug applicator. I wish.

And Quill aka “Quellcrist” might as well go solo, she might do better without us cramping her style. Maybe she can carry the paintings out herself. They’re lighter on the Moon, and she could use the workout.

Eclipse Phase #2 - Erotic Adventures

A small simple capture escaped convicts mission for Kay, Quill and
Bill Jr.

Copypasta from Kai’s post:

“Until cities lie waste without inhabitant, and houses without men, and the land is utterly desolate…”

Yesterday Dawn, Adrian and I foiled a prison break from the Tartarus mining colony, finding that my character’s mad criminal genius father William Sr had taken over the Tartarus mass driver and launched multiple capsules out to various locations. We found the anarchist drug farm on 433 Eros had been infiltrated by escaped convicts, and after a harrowing space journey in which Dawn’s character nearly drove mine mad with petting and pickpocketing, we got to work. The local law enforcement on Eros seemed suspicious, so Adrian got to sneaking around access tunnels and air ducts, I got to hacking local networks, and Dawn got to falling down elevator shafts at terminal velocity and hitting the bottom rather hard. Between us we managed to uncover the convict infiltration and put an end to it, although William Sr remains at large…

Eclipse Phase #1 - Face/Off

We had a simple introductory session where the Fastball Express crew rescued the director of the Martian Geological Society from the cultists of the Church of Cydonia.


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